Developing a Relationship of Trust with Your Teen
By Kathleen Matchunis, President of Connecting, Inc.
Certified Life Coach
Developing a relationship of trust with your teen should begin well in advance of the teen years. There are several things to keep in mind as your child is growing up.
• Always show respect for your child as a person. This doesn’t mean that you always agree with your child. It means that you show respect for their opinions, preferences, and their essence. By disagreeing respectively with your child, you help them build confidence in themselves.
• Be a good listener. Even if your teen shares superficial events, show interest and ask questions. Make sure that you ask information questions, rather than yes/no questions to stimulate conversation.
• Let your child know that you have their best interest at heart. Your teens need to know that you love them and have got “their back”. On the other hand, don’t defend your teens when you know that they are in the wrong or have made a mistake. They need to face consequences (even legal) when they make bad choices.
• Be authoritative without being authoritarian! Let you teens know that you are the responsible adult in charge, but not the dictator in the family. Your teen will respect you more if you tell them that you are making a particular decision because of safety/security concerns or because a certain situation is not in their best interest
• Don’t be your child’s friend, be their parent. Your teen already has friends, they need a parent. You should have your own friends. If you don’t have your own friends, you may be living through your teens. If you don’t know how to do this, you may want to consider getting coaching in this area.
• Be consistent with your rules and decisions. Teens will respond better if you are consistent and they know what to expect.
