Are You a Dating Disaster?
By Kathleen A. Matchunis, President of Connecting, Inc.
Do you sometimes feel like a dating disaster? Do you know someone whose dating license needs to be revoked? Hold on! There is hope for everyone! It may seem that it is challenging to connect with that special someone, but let’s take a look at what’s going on.
It’s difficult to be objective about yourself, so you need to enlist an unbiased third party, as to what impression you give to others. This can be a life coach, psychologist, or another professional. Your mom and your friends love you, despite your faults, so don’t count on them for valuable feedback in this area.
Are you a good listener when you meet someone or are you busy “promoting” yourself? Being a good listener is essential to all relationships. Make sure that you are making good eye contact and asking questions regarding your date’s conversation. Is your body language communicating interest in the other person or are you looking around, checking other people out?
Are you guilty of reciting your resume and your accomplishments? Do you talk about your possessions- the latest car or gadgets that you have purchased? It’s a date, not an interview! The idea is to create interest, not to intimidate and overwhelm. Don’t hide your accomplishments, but do not flaunt, as this makes others very uncomfortable.
Are you polite? Do you thank your date for the invitation, dinner, or just let them know that you had a good time? Remember that everyone likes to feel appreciated.
Do you share deep emotional feelings or trauma early in the relationship? This can be overwhelming for someone who has not had similar experiences and can send them running for the hills. It is only appropriate to share emotional baggage after developing trust in a relationship.
Do you become intimate too soon in the relationship? There is no shortcut for developing true emotional intimacy and this takes time. Physical attraction can sometimes distort whether there is enough in common to continue the relationship. Value yourself enough to take the time to build trust and friendship in your relationship. Truly getting to know and like someone will help you weather the more challenging parts of your relationship, as it progresses.
Do not let loneliness make you do things that you will regret later. It is better to be alone than with the wrong person. Be true to yourself and explore your interests. Be open and tolerant, but do not compromise your values.
There are a lot of people out there looking for someone. Be yourself, be careful, and be resourceful! Have fun just being you and if someone joins you, it will just make life sweeter! Check out this article on dating websites. They are not for everyone, but can be great for busy professionals.
http://mashable.com/2013/01/02/dating-websites-high-season/
To pursue life coaching to tune up your social skills, contact Kathy Matchunis at 954-294-9708 or check out www.connectinginc.net Life coaching can be done in my office or yours, or by Skype for your convenience.