Parent Like a Coach to Create a Champ!
By Kathleen A. Matchunis, B.A., M.S., CPC
What is the goal of all styles of parenting? We all want our children to feel loved, but we want them to be independent since there is a really good chance, we will not always be at their side during their lives to guide them through every situation.
When children are very young, they need to be directed to do certain things for their own safety. Once children are capable of thinking, we need to encourage them to do so. It is difficult to make the transition from telling to discussing. It depends on the maturity of the child. As a coach, I have found that when my teen clients face a challenge, we brainstorm and come up with a list of positive, doable options. When they choose from this list, they feel empowered. This approach is very different from telling teens what they should do. When they choose from a list of desirable options, they end up making a good decisions and feel that they are their own. This approach reduces the chances of rebellion and oppositional-defiant behavior.
Their choice may not always work, but chances are that teens will make a good effort at implementing a change from their list. If their choice doesn’t get them the results they want, it can always be tweaked through further brainstorming. The conversation can be about what worked and what didn’t work, leaving out the drama and emotion that usually accompany teen-parent conversations about issues in their lives.
There may be certain options that teen may want on the table which you, as a parent, will need to veto because teens, lacking frontal lobe maturation, may not be able to predict consequences of their choices. Overall, parenting like a coach, enables teens to think through different issues in their lives and have confidence in their decisions.
Decrease the tension in your household by brainstorming solutions with your teen. It may seem like it will take more time, but the positive results will last which will ultimately be a timesaver since issues will not have to constantly be revisited. Parent like a coach and your teen will become a champion in life!
Original content by Kathleen A. Matchunis, B.A., M.S., Certified Professional Coach Website: connectinginc.net. For more information, call 954 294-9708.
