Suicide: The Ultimate “Opt-Out”
By Kathleen A. Matchunis, B.A., M.S.
Certified Life Coach
I get it! You are in a terrible situation. You couldn’t name one good quality about yourself, even if you were given a list. You are presently paralyzed by pain and depression. You may even start thinking about ways to anesthetize yourself from the agony of living. You can’t even imagine your future. You just want to end the pain and sadness. You know that there is not undo button for what you are contemplating. But wait, you don’t know that this could all change tomorrow! You could find that job which you are seeking, find a special friend or love of your life, realize a dream, or change someone else’s day or life!
I recently learned the Martin Luther King attempted suicide a couple of times in his youth. Can you imagine where we would be in the United States without his contributions? When he was 12, he couldn’t imagine that he would set into motion a change for racial equality. He was just a miserable, depressed 12 year old who ended up growing up to be an extraordinary person.
I am not saying that you should hang on to save the country and the world, but it is impossible to imagine that in the future that your reality can surpass your dreams. During my high school years, I had to force myself to go to school and go through each day because of depression. Many times, we have no control of depression at this age because of our biochemistry and raging hormones. I often thought that as soon as I got out of high school, I would never set foot in a high school again. So, guess what happened? I eventually become a high school teacher. Not forgetting my difficult days in high school, I arrived early before classes and stayed after school to provide a safe haven and an ear to students who felt different, upset, or just needed to chat. Had I not gone through those difficult times, I would have not have had the empathy for those students that I had during my teaching career. My classroom was the soft place to land for many students. Being able to help students was a source of great satisfaction to me and gave me purpose in life. Presently, I continue to help students and parents in my coaching practice. All the tough experiences I had as a teen and in young adulthood, led me to a place where I can relate to teens and adults going through challenging times. Without those experiences, I don’t think that I could have been the teacher I was or the coach I am today.
As hard as it is to imagine, you can end up being someone else’s hero and change the course of events in many people’s lives. Don’t throw your gifts away! Hang on for better times! They are out there, even if you cannot conceive of them right now.
We now see middle-aged people taking their own lives. Why? Maybe because they are not where they think that they should be, maybe because they are overwhelmed or think that there is nothing left. They never imagine the devastation they cause for their families and friends by committing suicide.
Try this – write about your life and the future which you desire. Write it like a movie script and include as many of your dreams as possible. Tuck this script away and take a look at it a year or two later and see the parallels between your movie script and your life.
If you ask someone how they are doing and they look miserable even though they say, “fine”, stop a minute to talk to them to see if they are all right or just having a bad day. If you don’t feel like that you can help them, try to give them a number to call or some kind of resource.
If you are depressed, get help. Don’t deprive the world of your gifts. You are not alone. There are people whose lives would be ruined without you. Imagine if you had a friend who suddenly disappeared from your life, how would you feel?
Remember, you can create a beautiful future for yourself at any age!
Kathy Matchunis is a Certified Professional Life Coach and author of “Positive Parenting- A Guide for Engaging and Connecting with Your Child”. She offers coaching packages, consultations and speaks to groups on a wide range of topics from communication to relationships. Here specialty is parenting and challenges which kids face as they grow up. You can reach her at: kathy@connectinginc.net or call her at: 954 294 9708.
