Ten Things Which Parents Can Do to Encourage Social Skills in Their Teens
By Kathleen A. Matchunis, President of Connecting, Inc.
1. Be a good social role-model for your teen by participating in social activities in your neighborhood, community, and/or church.
2. Host events in your home. Don’t shy away from this if you are not a great cook. Keep it simple. Have a pot luck dinner and have everyone bring something. Have your teens help you clean the house and prepare the food. You will find out all sorts of information about your teen’s friends.
3. Show your child how to welcome someone into your home. Show your child how to greet family friends, relatives, and neighbors. Remind them to always offer someone something to drink if they come to visit.
4. Show your child how to be a good friend. Be there for your friends when the “chips are down” and your child will learn to be a good friend from your example.
5. Show an appreciation for people who are different than you. Be sure to include a variety of people in your social group, so that your teen will feel comfortable with diversity and feel enriched by all the different people, which you have in your life.
6. Show your teen how to handle a difference of opinion with others in a respectful manner. Don’t put down people who have different political, religious, or cultural points of view.
7. Never underestimate the importance of a family dinner at the table with the TV off and the family disconnected from computers, phones, iPods, iPads, etc. At the dinner table, children learn communication skills (listening and verbal), etiquette, tolerance, self-discipline, how to encourage one another, facts about nutrition, as well as how to have fun without technology. Have members ask to be excused at the end of dinner, rather than allowing them to graze. This may be challenging in a one parent home, but set the expectation of doing this and it will become a tradition. It doesn’t have to be every night, but try to do this as many nights as possible and you will see a difference in your teens.
8. Role-play what to do in certain situations such as an interview, a party, a formal dinner, asking a teacher for help, etc.
9. Discuss current events with your family, so that your children feel connected to people living outside of their immediate area.
10. Volunteer to help others who are less fortunate to encourage compassion and empathy in your child.
You will find that teens who learn to be socially appropriate with their families go on to be socially appropriate in society, enabling us all to live in a more civilized world. Does your teen need some extra practice in handling sticky social situations? Call me, life coach Kathy Matchunis at 954 294-9708 for a complimentary consultation.
