As an educator, coach, and parent, I have learned what it takes to parent teen and young adults. Teens and young adults want to have their own identities and show their parents that they can make it on their own. However, their desire to be independent doesn’t mean that they don’t need their parents.
Here are six things which teens really need from their parents:
- Good role-modeling – You can talk all you want about meeting and greeting people, resolving conflicts, appropriate eye contact, and appropriate language but if you do not model the desired behavior, kids don’t get it. Show your kids what a good work ethic is, by working hard and taking responsibility for your work performance, rather than blaming others when you make mistakes.
- Ongoing communication – If you want to have open communication with your teen, don’t have formal talks which you begin with “Can we talk?” Rather than make a big deal about having a conversation, talk to your teen frequently about a variety of topics which are part of both of your worlds. Share your challenges, too, so your teen doesn’t become too self-absorbed. Your teens should ask you “How is your day?” on a regular basis. They need to be trained to do this.
- Meaningful praise – Saying “good job” or giving general praise is essentially meaningless. It is more meaningful to say, “I like the way you did ________ today”. This type of praise will help your teens develop great self-esteem.
- Encouragement – Teens can be really tough on themselves and take what their peers say about them very seriously. Support your teens by recognizing their strengths and rooting them on in their endeavors by attending their events, open house at school, etc.
- Opportunities to develop life skills – If you unconsciously do everything for your kids, they will never develop life skills. Show your kids how to cook and have them make a meal once in a while, have them call to make appointments or get information by phone, have them return a defective product, have them talk to their teachers, etc. Kids don’t learn these things by magic! It takes practice!
- Have reasonable expectations – Don’t allow your teens to live like pigs. This bad habit will complicate their lives later on. Everyone needs to be organized enough have a clean living area, do their laundry, and pay their bills. If not, they will raise another generation of dysfunctional adults. Parents need to have reasonable expectations for organization, cleanliness, and punctuality.
For more detailed tips and a breakdown of how to parent your teens according to age bracket, check out this great article from the Wall Street Journal http://ow.ly/9BOg303V3On . Happy parenting!
Call for a complimentary session with experienced educator and academic and life coach, Kathleen Matchunis. Tel. 954- 294 -9708 Website: www.connectinginc.net and check us out on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/ConnectingInc/
