Three Tips for Following through with Your Discipline Plan

Three Tips for Following through with Your Discipline Plan

by Kathleen A. Matchunis, B.A., M.S., Certified Professional Coach

So you have a discipline plan, congratulations!  At least, you are attempting to keep kid chaos at bay!  The plan itself is the easy part, while implementing it may be difficult.

Many parents have long, busy days at work and then come home to their second and more demanding job which is managing their children’s behavior.  Here are a few tips to set realistic expectations, enforce consequences, and take down the drama at home.

1. Have a discussion with your children about how you want them to behave. Collaborate to come up with a list of rules.  These rules can be written on a large chart paper and posted.  Young children who can’t read yet can draw cues to help them remember each rule.  For example, if the rule is:  “We listen to each other and take turns talking at the table”, your child could draw an ear beside this rule to remind them to listen.  Get their input as to what the consequences should be regarding breaking each rule.  Their consequences are usually worse than anything that you create.
2. Make it clear that since everyone has collaborated on the rules and consequences that there will be no warnings. This will simplify your life immensely. When both you and your children are on the same page with expectations, this technique eliminates negotiating, a skill at which most kids are quite adept.
3. Enforce the rules in a low-key, matter-of-fact way. Specify the rule which has been broken and the consequence in a normal tone of voice and then follow through.  If you are somewhere where it is not possible to enforce the consequence, make a note of it and let your children know you will give the consequence after arriving home.  Every time you want to give in on your rules, imagine your children in their teens, larger and stronger than you, defying you and other authority figures.  This scenario will bring you more heartbreak and stress than you can imagine.  You will feel motivated to carry through on the consequences after thinking about this scenario for a few minutes.

Nothing goes smoothly all the time.  Wherever there are children, there will be tears and melt-downs, but it’s either you or them.  A home cannot function with parents who are having melt-downs.  Be strong and hold the line now and the teen years, and beyond, will be much more enjoyable.  One day, when your children are adults, you will actually be able to count them among your friends, and that’s a beautiful feeling!

Original content by Kathleen A. Matchunis, Educator, Professional Academic and Life Coach, providing customized coaching for teens and parents in person and via Skype.  Website:  www.connectinginc.net Tel. 954 294 9708.  Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/connectinginc.   Call for a complimentary consultation!